February 12, 2015 | Posted by Heather Dominick
“Don’t talk to me!” I snapped at my boyfriend/future husband, as I slammed the bathroom door (read: the only door in our Greenwich Village studio apartment) and then proceeded to sit in the bathtub with a washcloth over my eyes for the next two hours.
Not one of my proudest moments.
It was 2005. I had been self-employed for just over a year and had just returned from giving a presentation to 300 people at Con Edison of New York.
And I didn’t understand, at the time, that I was highly sensitive.
All I could think was, “What’s wrong with me? How can I so vivaciously give a “Standing O” presentation and then come home to treat the one I love so dearly, so poorly? And why do I feel like the life has been sucked out of me? What’s WRONG with me??”
Now, all these years later all I can do is forgive that younger version of Heather and be grateful that I now know how to manage my highly sensitive self so my traits are working for me and my business (and that my boyfriend from that time did become my husband – can you believe it?!).
See, I’ve learned that there are two kinds of Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs (HSEs): “The Hiders” and “The Pushers”. I’m a recovering Pusher.
I could and would push my way through just about anything. It took every ounce of life out of me, often made me sick and not necessarily pleasant to be around (obviously), but I would get done what needed to be done at any cost (which, obviously, there was).
Oh, and boy was I angry.
- Angry that the world demanded so much from me.
- Angry that I couldn’t give it without hurting myself or others.
- Angry that I couldn’t say no.
- Angry that I wasn’t made like the rest of the world (why isn’t everyone else exhausted like I am?).
And scared. Oh, so very scared.
- That I would be found out and the rickety world I had painstakingly built would come crashing down around me.
When I first discovered that I was highly sensitive. I thought all other HSEs were like me, but through my work with hundreds of my Business Miracles Community Members. I came to understand “The Hiders”.
If you’re a Hider you so long to shine your talents through your business, but just the thought of possibly being overwhelmed is so terrifying to you that you take all precautions to be sure that doesn’t happen. So, instead you:
- Take every coaching course and program that you can because you “don’t know enough yet”.
- Take care of everyone else around you first leaving very little time for yourself and your business. (“After all, this is the responsible thing to do,” you say.)
- Come up with great ideas about how others can improve their programs and spend a lot of energy judging, giving recommendations for improvement and then deciding that this “isn’t working for me” when in truth you haven’t really been implementing the work (again, all because you’re so terrified of what will happen when you do).
And you are also angry.
- So angry that you then beat yourself up. You ask yourself over and over, “Why can’t I just do what I need to do?”
So, which one are you? A Pusher or a Hider?
I should also mention the “Combo Platter”: the HSE who vacillates between the two. You push-push-push-wear-yourself-out-hide-hide-hide-beat-yourself-up-guilt-guilt-guilt-push-push-push-wear-yourself …
You get the picture.
Whether you are a Pusher, Hider or Combo Platter you can’t continue to live this way (I couldn’t) and your business for sure can’t thrive this way (mine didn’t). It’s time to find the peaceful road through …
It’s time to embrace your high sensitivities, learn how they are business assets when you use them as strengths, and how when you do this, miracle after miracle takes place.
This is how I live now and how my business thrives now.
If you’re ready for this, too, then I would like to invite you to join me for a very special ALL NEW A Course In Business Miracles®: 21-Day Discovery Series (completely my gift to you) where we will come together to develop a different way, the way of Business Miracles. No more “pushing” and no more “hiding”.
It takes 21 days to change a habit. Let’s get started.
Here’s to discovering the truly valuable you! See you on the Discovery Series!
Love and Blessings!