[00:00:02] Welcome to the Business Miracles podcast. I'm Heather Dominick, founder of www.businessmiracles.com and author of the book Different: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution found at www.differentthebook.com. Since 2010, I've been training Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs and Leaders from around the globe to work less while making more impact and income by doing things differently. I'm so glad you joined me. Listen in and get ready. Get ready for a shift in the way you view yourself, your work, your life. A business miracle.
[00:00:39] This is A Course In Business Miracles podcast episode 185, Setting Business Boundaries as an HSP. In this podcast episode, I discuss how lack of boundaries leads to lack of focus, leaving your energy drained and your business bank account suffering. Most importantly, I share how to get clear about your HSP needs and then specifically how to work with time to honor your needs, effectively communicate your needs to others, aka set boundaries, all so that you can be your most creative and profitable self in your business. So let's dive in.
[00:01:24] We are here today to focus on setting boundaries as an act of resilience. And I would even say setting boundaries as an act of HSP resilience as a highly sensitive person in business and leadership. So what do we mean when we're talking about boundaries? Well, the definition according to Webster Dictionary is that a boundary is a dividing line. A dividing line. According to psychotherapist, Dr. Sharon Martin. A boundary is an imaginary line that separates me from you.
It separates your physical space, it separates your feelings, it separates your needs and it separates responsibilities from and for others. Your boundaries also tell other people how they can treat you, what's acceptable and what is not acceptable. Without boundaries, people tend to take advantage because you haven't set limits about how you expect to be treated. Personal responsibility, dividing line boundaries. Really valuable as an HSP committed to empowerment, committed to leadership in business and in life. When we are untrained as highly sensitives, we are operating from shadows such as over-responsibility, such as overprotection, such as people pleasing, which are all shadow reactions to not taking the personal responsibility to set boundaries. Conscious creation of boundaries for HSPs is the opposite of the shadows of people pleasing, over responsibility, overprotection, perfectionism. What I want to emphasize here is that setting boundaries is different from the shadow of overprotection.
Defaulting to the shadow of overprotection is most likely because you have not: one, gotten clear on your own needs and your own values. Two, gotten clear on how your needs and your values are separate from those closest to you - in your business prospects, clients, team in your life, friends, family. And because you have not gotten clear on your needs, on your values and how your needs and values are separate from those closest to you, you have not communicated your values and your needs and therefore default to overprotection, which ultimately hinders you as the HSP holding yourself back from engaging fully in business, in leadership, in life all as an attempt to protect yourself from the possibility of overwhelm. Yet when you are clear about your needs and values and how your needs and values are separate from those closest to you and you language those needs and values, there is no need to overprotect, giving you access to strengths such as creativity, such as intuition, such as empathy, such as deep thinking and deep feeling. All in a way that can deliciously and luxuriously be utilized and enjoyed rather than cut off, because boundaries as an act of HSP resilience have not been set. One of the tools that can support you with getting clear on those needs, on those values, on those boundaries is the teaching of time off, on and in.
Now believe me, I've heard every excuse and every resistance to time off and in This won't work for me. This is why it won't work for me always is the option and the necessity to apply the law of adaptation rather than all or nothing. Either I do time off on and in as Heather teaches it or I don't. My schedule is a mess. I am unfocused. I don't know where I am meant to be or what I'm meant to be working on, and then therefore I can't necessarily communicate that to others. Or you can creatively design off on and in so it works for you. All trainings are designed with the intent of engaging in the process of adaptation based on your personal needs. So wait, is it actually built into the trainings? A practice of getting clear on one's needs and values to then therefore be able to better set boundaries? Well, yes. Yes. I think it is. Using the law of adaptation all to counteract that HSP tendency for perfectionism. The opposite of that HSP tendency of perfectionism is the law of adaptation.
There is no gold star, a plus student as an HSP in business and leadership, so valuable to dive into the inquiry of what is time off on an end meant to look like for you. Personally, I'm in constant flexibility, fluidity, and creativity with my schedule. It's an ongoing act. So what is time off on and in meant to look like for you in connection to boundaries and how can this support you with clarity about what you need for your optimal productivity? Clarity about what you need for your off, on and in all to support your parasympathetic nervous system, health and body balance, as well as life balance and business balance that allows for advancement.
And also as part of that balance, as part of that advancement utilizing off on and in gives you the opportunity to prioritize self study. Prioritize self-study such as, I don't know, training time as an act of self support and as a result of clarity regarding boundaries, all to support you with, again, parasympathetic nervous system balance, business balance, business advancement and life balance. So what needs to be put in place regarding boundaries, separating your physical space, your feelings and your needs and your responsibilities from others, and for others to support that balance, to support that advancement, to support ongoing resilience as an HSP in business and leadership.
I'd like to kind of highlight some elements I sense will be valuable. So the first thing that I want to highlight is that when it comes to setting boundaries as an active HSP resilience, that setting boundaries with family, who are those who are the most closest to you, based on your HSP needs and values does not mean that you don't care.
And the reason why I wanted to really highlight this is because this is very sneaky, sly insidious area for us as HSPs, meaning we can miss it. Falling so easily into the belief of like, well, I have to do it this way for my children. I have to do it this way for my spouse/partner. I have to do it this way for my parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, et cetera, because that is what we do and that is how we do things. And that means that I am a good parent, good partner, good spouse, good daughter, good, et cetera, et cetera. And it happens so fast. The neural pathways are running so quickly that we don't even necessarily catch it, until we have a moment where we're like, I'm so frustrated because I can't get done what I need to get done. I'm not doing what it is that I want to do.
I'm not feeding and nurturing and nourishing myself the ways that I want to. And then it's actually working against me when it comes to what it is that I'm looking to create in my business and or leadership project. And what I want to offer as part of this is that it's not either or. The HSP leader possibility is both and. Both how it is that you care for those who are closest to you or your in caring relationship with those who are closest to you and you are caring for your needs and values. Now, again, it will require inquiry. It will require taking action and doing things differently, including how it is that you set up your schedule, including how it is that you do or do not react or respond to certain patterns relationship wise that have been set over the years.
And the outcome will be of such value for yourself and those who are closest to you, actually an act of more care rather than less care. So I really want to highlight that. And again, the way to catch it, because the neural pathways are happening so quickly is when you find yourself saying, well, I have to do it this because, or finding yourself suddenly frustrated and falling into like, well, I couldn't do what I needed to do for myself or wanted to do for myself because I had to. And that is just an opportunity for inquiry and looking more deeply. The other piece that I wanted to highlight was about rituals to support yourself in setting up to be productive. That actually is really based on an early childhood education teaching called transition cues.
So setting up transition cues for yourself such as, oh, when I turn this light off, that means my workday is over. When I turn this light on, I'm transitioning from time on to time in. When I make this cup of tea, that means I'm entering into a creative space. I use this marker when I work on copy. Those are all transition cues that let the neural pathways know we are in a new productivity space. For early childhood it often has to do with sight and sound like turning on lights, turning off lights, clapping, certain colors, et cetera. Do we ever really graduate from early childhood?
It's always valuable in ways that can be adapted and supported, and especially for our HSP ness to help with those boundaries of self as well as to help with boundaries with others. Always of setting yourself up to know your needs, honor your needs, and be able to be operating from your needs As an HSP in leadership.
So what does time off on and in meant to look like for you for this week, for this month, for this year, available for adjustment as needed when needed? And how can this support you with setting boundaries in order to meet your goals as an HSP in business and leadership? If you think that you can create and achieve your goals without making any adjustments to your boundaries, there is a little bit of fantastical thinking happening there. So valuable inquiry to get to know one's needs, to be able to acknowledge one's needs, and then to be able to work with one's needs as an HSP in business and leadership.
[00:16:03] Thank you for being a part of this Business Miracles podcast episode and for beginning to dip your toe into the journey of highly sensitive leadership training. If you are ready to truly use your sensitivities as strengths in all parts of your work and life, I invite you to connect for a one on one chat. You will experience being deeply listened to and together we'll get a sense of whether the Highly Sensitive Leadership Training Programs are the best next step for you and your highly sensitive journey at this time. Just go to www.claritycall.com to schedule a conversation. We so look forward to connecting with you. Talk to you soon!
