[00:00:02] Welcome to the Business Miracles podcast. I'm Heather Dominick, founder of www.businessmiracles.com and author of the book Different The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution, found at www.differentthebook.com. Since 2010, I've been training Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs and Leaders from around the globe to work less while making more impact and income by doing things differently. I'm so glad you joined me. Listen in and get ready. Get ready for a shift in the way you view yourself, your work, your life. A business miracle.
[00:00:39] This is A Course in Business Miracles podcast episode 156 Leading With Empathy. Join me as I share a hot take on empathy versus sympathy and how you're actually meant to use it as one of your highly sensitive strengths. Learn to lead with empathy in service to fulfilling your business and life mission as a highly sensitive entrepreneur and leader.
[00:01:09] We are here to focus today on the highly sensitive strength of empathy. Please write that down. The highly sensitive strength of empathy, one of our top 12 highly sensitive entrepreneur and leader strengths, probably no surprise, but where we're going to start with this weekly training is, what is the definition of empathy? Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Thank you so much Terry Thomas. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. This is the official definition according to Webster Dictionary of empathy. Really valuable to start off with, what is the official definition? As I have seen highly sensitives use empathy in varying ways. So we want to get really super clear as part of this week's training what empathy actually is and how we are meant to use it as one of our highly sensitive strengths in service to our business and life missions as highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders.
It makes sense that this is one of our strengths when you consider the definition, because we have a highly tuned nervous system which takes in high levels of stimulation. So this allows us to access interpretation of another person's body language, another person's energy, and another person's subtle expression of emotions, all leading to the ability to be very finely tuned into understanding and sharing the feelings of another. When empathy is used as a strength, this is extremely beneficial, extremely beneficial to us as entrepreneurs and as leaders, because it gives us access to a deep understanding of our ideal client. Write that down.
Empathy supports us with marketing and selling from a place of genuine service, to provide what will benefit our clients, because we have that deep understanding of our ideal client. The same extends for team members and colleagues and overall life relationships in general. Now as shared on last week's training round table when we focused on the highly sensitive shadow of perfectionism, according to author and researcher, Daniel Pink, leadership is about empathy. It's about having the ability to relate and to connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives. For us as highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders, this equals increased financial success when we are able to use empathy as a honed leadership skill in support of relating and connecting with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives and receiving compensation in exchange.
This is an automatic equal to financial success, because again, we are wired to be in this space of being able to use empathy as a leadership strength. Now on last week's training round table, I also shared the shadow tendencies of perfectionism and either or thinking, and those shadow tendencies of perfectionism and either or thinking make accessing the highly sensitive strength of empathy, challenging if not impossible. I'm going to say that again so that you can write it down. Shadow tendencies such as perfectionism and either or thinking make accessing the highly sensitive strength of empathy, challenging, if not impossible.
So this is where it's helpful to understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. So we're going to go back to Webster Dictionary. Sympathy is used when one person shares the feelings of another. An example is when one person experiences sadness, when someone close to them is experiencing grief or loss. So again, sympathy is used when one person shares the feelings of another. An example is when one person experiences sadness, when someone close to them is experiencing grief or loss. Also, according to Webster Dictionary, empathy differs from sympathy in carrying an implication of greater emotional distance. And I want you to write that down. Greater emotional distance with empathy. You can imagine or understand how someone might feel without necessarily having those feelings yourself, right that down.
Now this is also different from being an empath. So the difference between empathy as a strength and being an empath, the difference is about viscerally feeling what another feels, via mirror neurons. Mirror neurons. An empath according to Webster Dictionary, is a person who has a paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. As highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders, we have the ability to be empathetic as a strength, without the automatic trigger of the empath mirror neuron response, and I'll say that again. As highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders, we have the ability to be empathetic as a strength, without the automatic trigger of the empath mirror neuron response.
And again, as mentioned on last week's training round table, this requires training. Write that down. This requires training, because we can easily disconnect from empathy as a strength due to limiting beliefs developed from past unconscious training. Our past unconscious training supports the limiting belief of, because I can imagine or understand how another person is feeling, I am responsible for that feeling/that person. And I'll say that again, the limiting belief developed from unconscious training, is because I can imagine or understand how another person is feeling, I am responsible for that feeling/that person. This shows up in our highly sensitive shadows of over responsibility, people pleasing, overprotection.
And when caught in the shadow of perfectionism, when we're caught in the shadow of perfectionism, we are so preoccupied with ourselves, even when we try to convince ourselves that we're actually focusing on someone else. That's a hard one to look at, but I recommend you write it down. So I'll say it again. When you are caught in perfectionism, you are preoccupied with yourself, even when you try to convince yourself that you are focusing on someone else. Let's all take a breath in and let it out. So how do we cultivate empathy as a strength? Very similar to the last two weekly training round tables. We start with step one. We recognize when we are in the grip of a shadow state.
And that's all you need to do is just recognize, "Oh my gosh, I'm in perfectionism. Look at that. It happened again. Oh look, there's me feeling over responsible for that poor woman on television in this commercial because she took the wrong drug and now she lost her puppy. Nope, not my responsibility. Oh, what? Wait, what? Oh, this is so interesting. I'm not actually returning a phone call of a prospect, because I'm telling myself that I must do the laundry for my child in order for them to feel loved." Now well, isn't that interesting? Isn't that a sneaky form of overprotection? Just recognizing the shadow state. Step two, turn to the tools in this leadership program, specifically designed to support you in shifting from shadow to strength, specifically the resit process, to shift into nurture and gain access to your strengths.
You can also use the shame transformation tools or even the energy management tool of auto writing, all forms of self nurture through inquiry, to get a better understanding of wow, what's happening when I am so easily pulled into this particular shadow state. Which then leads to step three, practice. Through recognizing, and then inquiry through use of the tools, reigns it, shame transformation tool, auto writing, to then bring it to a framed time of committed, consistent practice, seven days, 21 days, 30 days, and then cultivate both through these three steps, you then are cultivating both, one, empathy for self, and two, empathy for others.
Let's briefly look at the difference as well as the connection between those two, both empathy for self and empathy for others. Empathy for self is a deeper understanding and knowing of one's own self, a deeper understanding and knowing of one's own self, your essential self, not the self that you pretend to be in order to be accepted and liked by others. Empathy for self, a deeper understanding and knowing of one's own self, which gives you access to high level emotions such as compassion,
The difference between empathy for self and compassion. Compassion takes empathy a step further when you are compassionate, you understand the pain, empathy, and then you do your best to alleviate the pain from that situation in a way that is detached.
Cultivating empathy for self allows you to not get caught in shadows, and therefore take action more easily to move forward. That's true self-compassion. Now can I get a on this one? And the reason why I want to really emphasize that is because I have heard highly sensitives throughout my years of mentoring use self-compassion as an excuse for not taking action, when in truth, to truly be self-compassionate, means that you will take action to move yourself forward in a way that is true to what you deeply understand and know about yourself. Through empathy for self, we are then more easily able to access empathy for others, which to then experience deeper understanding of others, not our projection of who they are, not who we want them to be, but who they truly are. Family and friends, prospects, clients.
So again, compassion takes empathy a step further. When you are compassionate, you feel the pain of another empathy and then you do your best to alleviate the person suffering from that situation, without getting caught in over responsibility, people pleasing or overprotection, which leads us back to leadership is about empathy. It's about having the ability to relate and to connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives, not enabling them, not trying to do the work for them, not believing that it's your responsibility for the results that they do or do not get or what they decide to do with what you offer them.
Inspiring and empowering. So when you are using empathy as a leadership strength, you don't need to lose yourself in someone else's experience. You don't need to manipulate or convince someone to do anything in order to please you. You don't need to do you manipulate or convince yourself to do things in order to police others. You don't need others to be like you and you don't need yourself to be like others. As you engage in the core practice of cultivating empathy as a strength, then also other strengths will strengthen.
Through empathy for self and empathy for others, you will have greater access to your strength of intuition, which turbos and act such as intuitive planning, which we will do together on February 15th, Intuitive Planning Day. So empathy turbos an act or an event such as intuitive planning. Empathy will also turbo deep feeling, giving you access to that strength without being flooded and will turbo your ability to learn without realizing you are learning. Another one of our highly sensitive strengths. When you cultivate the strength of learning without realizing you're learning, that puts you in a state of flow which equals effortless creation and the ability to create more impact and more income with less effort. And I'll be sharing more on that next week. The value of empathy as a strength and an interconnected web, of all of our highly sensitive strengths, breath in and let it out.
So you have the recognition, "Oh, this is how I didn't really use empathy as a strength previously, and because I wasn't really using empathy as a strength previously, these are the hot mess experiences that I had and because I don't want those hot mess experiences anymore, I'm now going to implement some solid system changes to support myself in ensuring that I don't go down that hot mess path again."
And that is a brilliant demonstration of being a highly sensitive leader. It's not just the strength in the moment of selling, it's following the thread through and improving your future experience as a result. What? I also appreciate the recognition and acknowledgement, "Oh, the way that I was taught to do marketing from more of the socialized, non highly sensitive perspective actually only went so far. And if I'm really willing to dive in deep to showing up as a highly sensitive entrepreneur, I'm going to go much further with how I meant to do things differently than I was taught 20 years ago."
the primary reason that prevents most highly sensitive entrepreneurs from truly experiencing peaceful prosperity and financial success is that previous unconscious training that feels so familiar, which is our shadows. The unconscious training is, I am responsible for other people's feelings. The unconscious training is, I do have to people please in order to get by. The unconscious training is, I do have to deny who I am in order to be able to effectively fit in.
So we're literally rewiring that unconscious training and restitching neural pathways into new thought patterns, And a more effortless path to abundance for us. Highly sensitive entrepreneurs.
it's a process of the rewiring from that shadow state, into the strength state and specifically the misnomers around empathy and the limiting beliefs around empathy.
But as you truly embrace shifting into empathy as a strength, as an ongoing core practice, you are going to experience so much more ease and effortless flow in all regards, including financial and abundance and just overall productivity. It is one of the massive strength gateways for us, as highly sensitives, and why it's so important that we are really tuning into focus in on empathy at the beginning of what potentially is a very, very transformative year ahead.
[00:24:40] Thank you for being a part of this Business Miracles podcast episode and for beginning to dip your toe into the journey of highly sensitive leadership training. If you are ready to truly use your sensitivities as strengths in all parts of your work and life, I invite you to connect for a one on one chat. You will experience being deeply listened to and together we'll get a sense of whether the Highly Sensitive Leadership Training Programs are the best next step for you and your highly sensitive journey at this time. Just go to www.claritycall.com to schedule a conversation. We so look forward to connecting with you. Talk to you soon!
